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Showing posts from 2015

It's Christmas Party Time

Or is that Happy Holiday time, tell you what I better get some decent Happy Holiday gifts if that is the case :) I haven't been to a company Christmas party (no I am not going to fucking call them Holiday parties) in a couple of years as I have been remote and distant - at least that is what the ex said  :) Sorry, I meant I was working remotely and apparently there wasn't enough budgeted to get me up to corporate headquarters and cover my bar tab. This year is different. We are heading to a German Steakhouse called Ū - or Umlaut. I questioned the bosses on the quality of German Steakhouses but they informed me that since a few elite Germans went to Brazil after WWII with quite a bit of gold that they had 'Perfected ze art of cooking ze steak' so not to worry. Not that it really matters, the majority of my diet is liquid based and I try not to mix business with pleasure, mainly because the ladies I work with know me too well :) Sunday is going to hurt. When you thi

Gotta be you

This is not a morbid post and no I am not dying, well no more than anybody else, but what is the story of my life on this planet and do I have time to change it? One way or another you and I (as for once this post might be about you) have had an impact on the people around us. We (yes, it is all inclusive this time) have probably made some of the same mistakes and God only knows how many little white lies we have told that have kept us up all night but everyone has something great that they can leave; a legacy, a story, a friendship, an effect on the people around us. There are those that truly, madly, deeply need to feel that they made a once in a lifetime change on society and there are those that are happy to just live for the small moments that are perfect to them. Ok, James, you are asking yourselves, WTF are you on now? Quite frankly I am just having a bit of a laugh right now, did you know there are 13 One Direction song titles in that first paragraph including the titl

The annual turkey massacre - or as it is known in the US, Thanksgiving

I was just looking back over my previous posts as I was positive I had gone over this subject matter before but had decided anyway to rehash it - I mean if they can remake 'The Greatest American Hero' (do you have the theme song stuck in your head already?) and MacGyver why can't I write a blog that may be a retread also. Fortunately for me (and y'all) it doesn't look like this is a remake but it may hit on some commonality with previous posts but let's face it Romeo and Juliet was just a rehash of The Princess Bride, as inconceivable as that may be. Thanksgiving Day was never a big day back in New Zealand, certainly not as big as July 4th, which was also not celebrated back there, for some unknown reason. Having been in the US for nigh on 15 years I have now come to understand more about this most American of traditions (which is also celebrated albeit on different days in Canada, Grenada, Liberia and a few other places and is essentially not really American

Do not go gentle into that good night

Ok, so Dylan Thomas was not exactly writing about what I am about to pontificate on but it is germane to this week's post. Back in early 1980’s Poppa Jeff turned 40 and had a birthday party with a friend of his, Alan Wilson, who happened to have his birthday on the same day. Alan was disappointed that his name wasn’t Brian, as he really just wanted to lie in bed, however he came to the party anyway. I remember being downstairs watching a movie about some Austrian painter with a stupid mustache topping himself (he seemed like quite a douchebag) whilst the ‘adults’ partied upstairs. The standard attire seemed to be suits or sports coats, ties, dress shirt etc and the men dressed the same :) A belly dancer turned up at one point, there was the obligatory gift of a walking cane and the boisterous singing of 'Life begins at 40' by Dave & the Dynamos echoed through the house. Evening finished with the smoking of cigars and a sherry or port depending on your fortified wine o

Some folks like to getaway, take a holiday from the neighborhood

As an ultra professional sales person it is important that I get away from the 10am-3pm, 3 days a week of hard graft that I have to put in.  It is tough to find time to really kick back and relax, what with the golf games, wine tastings and obligatory corporate dinners at the local strip clubs.  Not to mention the trade shows that I need to attend in exotic places like Orlando, Chicago, San Francisco and Hawaii. Those are hard graft. I mean you can only talk about the ‘87 Merlots for so long before someone will start jabbering on about some new Pinot they discovered on a client trip to Nappa Valley. The sales profession can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. It is important to getaway every now and again to recharge the batteries As my close, personal, Billy Joel playlist suggests some people like to take a break to Miami Beach or Hollywood.  Personally I prefer to getaway from the big cities when I take a break to recharge – often times people will come back from a getaway

Changing a teams culture starts with getting rid of the dickheads

There is this team, lets call them the All Blacks, and they play a sport, lets call it rugby, and they are pretty damn good. Back in 2004 they came to a nexus after getting hammered by a team we will call Springboks. After the defeat they held a kangaroo court, drinks were drank, silly fines were imposed and general stupidity took place. The boys returned to a country we will call Hobbiton and had a 3 day ‘come to Jesus’ moment where the senior players decided that to succeed going forward they needed to have more ownership of the team. They created new guiding principles that included: Better people make better All Blacks. Leave the jersey in a better place. And most importantly - No Dickheads. This logic of course seems obvious however, as is the case in most things, sometimes people forget the basic tenets of what it takes to build a team and focus too much on the big picture. Sure, you have to have an overall plan of where you want to go and what you want to do, but if you

Rugby is HOT. There's Poet's Day wisdom in it. - Guest writer RB

Y ou know that uptight HR lady at work?  She's me. Yep, that's right. (Well, she would be me if you don't know me.) So it might surprise you for me to tell you to be Rugby-hot at work.  Especially for a Poet. It's precisely how you earn that inspired cold beer after leaving it all on the field at the job all week. The beer just tastes better. The spirit is moved more euphorically. This is because you can thumb your nose at the boss man on a Friday night with the sole satisfaction of accomplishment and pride. Of being spent and seeking to refill. You made the work worthwhile while you were there.  Now it's your time. And the man can kiss your sweet arse until the sun rises on the proverbial Monday. I know this in my soul. I learned it at my grandaddy's knee. He was the foreman of a backbreaking road paving crew.  I can recall how he smelled of asphalt and Zest soap as he put away pint on a Friday night. And how his sun tanned face glowed with sa

Sometimes your ego writes checks your body can easily cash

This post was influenced by the Rugby World Cup (RWC), luckily we can learn so much from the game they play in heaven and from ‘that volleyball movie’. As I sit here on a beautiful Poets Day in Raleigh with my All Blacks jersey on waiting for the mighty Boys in Black to take on Tonga in a few hours, I find myself wondering how I can possibly write another semi-brilliant post that will keep the audience (of 4) engaged. However, knowing who a fair amount of the audience is, I realize I could probably keep then engaged just by writing PTO on both sides of a piece of paper (way to alienate your adoring fans you King Richard). I could focus on writing a well thought out and factually supported blog regarding the evils of large corporations, governmental spying and accountants but there is no need to write at that level for a couple of reasons including the fact that I cannot be bollocked. Why sit down, research, watch Fox news for a week and actually write something at that level when