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Showing posts from August, 2016

What motivates you?

I had to go to my back cracker today, Snap, Crackle and Pop in North Raleigh, as I had a rib lock up just below my right shoulder yesterday and they needed to get it moving again – and yes it is quite painful and it hurts when I breath. I have been going to S,C & P for as long as I can remember (which is not long in my case but that is another story) and as much as they probably hate me calling them S, C & P they don’t read my blog so what are they going to do about it J Dr Crackle was adjusting my back, shoulders, neck, knees and hips today and we were talking about the fact that I cannot run without crippling shin splints. He asked how was I going to finish the triathlon I am doing in just over a week and I just said I would deal with the pain later (I am taking the good pills with me). He knows better than most that I have a pretty munted chassis but he also knows that I am a full basket short of a picnic so somehow I will get across the line. As I headed into work I

No, I don't want to watch the gymnastics

If you haven't noticed that the Olympics are on in Rio de Zika currently then you are either completely oblivious to the world around you or you are reading this in the future in which case humanity survived the clusterfuck that is 2016 – yay!!!  I have recently been paying attention to the sporting event happening south of the equator, and have also been watching the Olympics - in fact I might be multi-tasking right now watching the Men's team pursuit at the velodrome whilst typing this (it is a lot like NASCAR in that they make a lot of left turns and most people are just watching for the crashes). There is a cacophony of sport to watch thanks to the wonderful people at the Peacock Network if you have a computer, otherwise you would be led to believe that the only sports so far have been scantily clad beach volleyball (they should make the men wear Borat thongs to even it up for the ladies), swimming and gymnastics - and I don't want to watch the gymnastics. But wh

It’s the cracks that make us interesting

So the other night I was briefly watching “Running with Bear Grylls”, or what should be called “Bear Grylls interviews celebrities after making them eat maggots and sleep with him”. He had just spent the night spooning with one of the Jonas brothers (Alec I think, or Daniel, might have even been Stephen) and was conducting an in-depth interview whilst both of them were chilling their stones sitting in the snow. The Elephant Dung Drinker made the comment during his Oprah moment ‘It’s the cracks that make us interesting’ and I had to send that line to myself immediately as I knew it was a great theme for a blog. I also knew that if I didn’t send myself a note I would forget what it was he had said and would have to come up with a theme for this weeks blog all by myself. Yes that was a long intro to nowhere but remember to be eligible for a Pulitzer I actually need to write something J So this week it is all about the cracks, of the non-plumber type, that make us interesting. Le

Who am I trying to kid?

‘I must kill the queen’ reminded me today that I didn’t write a post last week even though I might have said at some point that I would. I reminded him that I was a lying sales person so he should not believe anything I said, he gave me his ‘stop fucking me round’ look and so here we are. Poets Day post on a Monday – has the world gone mad? Well yes, yes it has. But since every syphilitic dog walker and illiterate dipshit is so readily able to tell me how mad the world is thanks to the fact that there is no vetting process for purchasing an AR-15 or a book of faces account (actually there is a sort of process – oh whatever, we are not going there) I am sure there is no need to remind you how truly fucked we are right now – so I won’t. Instead I will talk about my favorite subject, me :)  (readers of previous blogs may have thought that my favorite subject was rugby or dick jokes or just good old plain sexual innuendo and they are correct to an extent – but we are not going there