No, I don't want to watch the gymnastics



If you haven't noticed that the Olympics are on in Rio de Zika currently then you are either completely oblivious to the world around you or you are reading this in the future in which case humanity survived the clusterfuck that is 2016 – yay!!! 
I have recently been paying attention to the sporting event happening south of the equator, and have also been watching the Olympics - in fact I might be multi-tasking right now watching the Men's team pursuit at the velodrome whilst typing this (it is a lot like NASCAR in that they make a lot of left turns and most people are just watching for the crashes). There is a cacophony of sport to watch thanks to the wonderful people at the Peacock Network if you have a computer, otherwise you would be led to believe that the only sports so far have been scantily clad beach volleyball (they should make the men wear Borat thongs to even it up for the ladies), swimming and gymnastics - and I don't want to watch the gymnastics.
But why James, you ask, what is wrong with gymnastics? 
It is not that I don't appreciate that they are fantastic athletes (albeit just a tiny bit taller than oompa loompas) with incredible poise, skill, strength and a complete mastery of the complexity of bedazzling, it is just that I don't enjoy it. Maybe it is just that I cannot relate to the sport as I am about as gymnastic as a pommel horse, maybe it is the serious chalk abuse or maybe the only tumbler I like watching is mine as I sip a Jack and Coke on the rocks :) Actually, after a moment of deep thought (only takes a second for me to go deep) I think I know what it is:  it is the delay after the athlete has finished whilst waiting for the score. In swimming, cycling, rugby, kicky round ball and most other sports - if you are to consider kicky round ball a sport and not just a bunch of really well payed actors pretending to get hurt whilst being supported by a bunch of yobbos - you know the result immediately. Whereas, in gymnastics, based on a complicated algorithm and factors that us mere mortals cannot comprehend it can take, what seems like a lifetime, for the result to get to the sequined ones. Obviously it takes someone with actual knowledge of what the tumble oloompas have been doing to decide on a winner, it just takes away from the sport for me. Yes, yes, I know that without the judging and the scoring the whole event can’t happen but I am just explaining why it is not for me. Please note this logic extends to the Cold Olympics and ice dancing but I won’t express that opinion here as ice dancers are nuts and likely to cut you – or send someone after you with a baseball bat before making a terrible homemade porno (so I have heard). 
That being said even a heathen like myself can appreciate the skill and dedication that these athletes have. Why is it then that athletes from some other sports are looked down on more than others? The Mens 20km (that is a metric measurement by the way) Race Walk is on now and those guys are just as much athletes as anyone else at the games.  Just because it is not a popular sport does not make them less athletic than someone else, or more importantly it does not make the medals of any less value than those won on the track or in the pool, at least not to that person. I went to a school called West Downs in Winchester England in the early 80s and the Head Master was an Olympic Silver Medalist for the 1,500m – Jerry Cornes. He ran 2nd in 1932 then 6th in 1936 when a certain Jack Lovelock from NZ won gold and set a world record. His silver medal was on display in his office and he allowed me to pick it up, that was (and still is) a pretty big deal to me. I was never going to compete in any sport at that kind of level but even as a kid I understood what that circle of silver meant – and this was before they released Chariots of Fire.
So where James, where are you taking us this week? What is the summary that brings this all together?
Just because I don’t want to watch gymnastics doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the skill and dedication. As much as I never ever watch kicky round ball there is also no question that the skill set of the top players is phenomenal, if only the game wasn’t so bloody boring it would be great. Just because the sport isn’t popular doesn’t detract from the skill set of those people competing at the highest level, in fact in some ways it makes their skills set even more impressive as not everyone is doing it. It is the same thing in the work place. Just because you are not the flashy sales monkey with the ultra modern sports car, designer wardrobe and perfect teeth (I really shouldn’t talk about myself so much in these blogs) it doesn’t mean that your skills are less than mine (oops I mean theirs). Let’s face it most Sales Monkeys can’t even plug in a monitor let alone assist in any operational sense. Just because they are the most popular doesn’t make them the most valuable (actually, yes, yes it does) but it doesn’t mean that the other people that probably work somewhere in the office don’t have a particular set of skills that are not vital to success. Gold in the Air Rifle 10m can mean as much (or more) to the person holding the gold in the 100m. Dedication to be the best you can be, in the field of your choosing, is one of the most admirable traits that any professional can have.
As usual I have to end this blog with some sort of disclaimer in case I have upset anyone – but I am not going to, so there. If, for some reason, I disappear mysteriously in the night and all that is left at the scene is some chalk and sequins then you know what has happened and you probably won’t care, which is not very nice. Crap, I just saw the time, where is my beer

Work hard, play hard and earn your inspiration

Happy Poets Day



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