It's all about the Yin and the Yang

Many years ago (seems like a few of my blogs start this way) my family was in Manila, driving near Smokey Mountain/Tondo – a particularly harsh part of the world. People were eking out existences from the city dump and many were dying every week just struggling to survive. It is a particularly shitty part of the world. Anyways, the fight to exist that we saw from the comfort of the van we were in brought my sister to tears. I commented that there was good and bad in everything, then my Dad turned round and said ‘James, that is probably the smartest thing you have ever said’

When people see things as beautiful,

ugliness is created.

When people see things as good,

evil is created.

Being and non-being produce each other.

Difficult and easy complement each other.

Long and short define each other.

High and low oppose each other.

Fore and aft follow each other.

~ Tao Te Ching

Far be it for me to disagree, be it ever so slightly, with any Philosopher but to me the alternative sides of the yin-yang image do not need to be 50/50. You can balance 2 disparate weights if you put the fulcrum in the right place. So while there may be good and bad, or darkness and light in everything, it doesn’t mean they are of equal amounts.

Life is so much better when you look for the light. No, I am not so deluded that I think that everything has a smiley happy Disney feel to it, I believe we need to learn from the darkness, but focus on the light.

Here are some personal examples.

Good thing was I filmed a TV commercial to sell stereos. Bad thing was that I was working at a bar when, during a sold out live televised event, the commercial came on TV. People recognized me and immediately (and for months after) asked if they could buy a TV from me. The best part was that luckily it was the stereo ad and not the one I did for underwear J

Good thing was I wrote a particularly clever on-line dating profile (I have to rely on wit not looks these days) and it made someone smile enough to give me a chance. The bad thing was that I had set the expectations so high with my witty profile that the expectations were through the roof. The good thing was that she lowered her expectations for a while, though has since asked if my brother wrote the profile J Bad thing is that I recently needed to get a profile again, good thing is, well they are awesome and I love them all very much.

Another good thing is that I can write a silly blog on a regular basis as a form of therapy and as an outlet for my brothers creative writing :) Bad thing is that y’all have to read it and the fact that my brother isn’t ghost writing this for me (no matter what anyone thinks). Great thing is that, well, I write it anyway and maybe some people out there enjoy it as much as I do.

There are so many more examples where the balance is skewed for the light, a few where the balance is even and a couple where; well to put it frankly, shit just fucking sucked. However I will always look for the place that makes things good, and even on a day when things are completely fucked I will find a way to get through to the next moment in time. Like I might have mentioned before this blog is part therapy for me and part challenge.

‘But James’, you might think (or ‘Hey Dickhead’) all you are talking about here is about being positive. Well, that is not exactly correct. What I am talking about is your perspective and how you gain it. Know that to have balance you have to have opposing forces (or masses for you Physics majors – yeah, probably none of those here), they do not have to be equal but they do have to be opposing. We have to know where the fulcrum is and focus on moving it towards the bad side (think a see saw people).  You cannot fool yourself into happiness however you can focus on the bits that made you happy because it is better to be happy than the alternative. Sometimes it ain’t easy but it is worth the effort.

I know the tone of this post is different to some but the whole point of this therapy/blog/thingy is to open up a bit of my soul. I am not a smart man but I know what love is J I have never studied anything close to philosophy or psychiatry (a bit obvious I know) but I do know people – well I know a person – and this is a part of him. As we all know pobody is nerfect and God knows I am not a saint – apparently turning beer into water doesn’t count as a miracle. I am just a blind man, in a dark room, looking for a black cat.................. that isn’t there J

So work hard, play hard and earn your inspiration.

Happy Poets Day