We’re the Avenger team and we think everything is Marvelous

We’re the Avenger team and we think everything is Marvelous

Ok, most people won’t get that reference but once again this blog is not about you (unless your name is Deadpool) – actually most likely no one will get that specific blog title reference and if you do you get a prize. Just a quick warning, there will be some swearing this week so if you think you might be fricking (not using that word again) offended then don’t fucking read it (I warned you) :)

I am about to go full fanboy this weekend on Deadpool, or as you might know him Mr Pool, or Dead. I have been looking forward to this movie since I first saw the “leaked” (leaked my ass – ok – well not leaked my ass, but you know what I mean) clip of Dead (yes, I feel I can call him that as I believe we are kindred spirits, he just might look a touch better in a skin tight red suit) jumping off the bridge to lay down some wicked fucking kick ass on what we are to presume are bad guys, while laying down some of the best ass kicking lines since Detective McClane dropped some Eurotrash off the Nakatomi Tower.

You have got to fucking love the Marvel Universe. I have a Kevin Bacon connection to the Marvel characters (and to a bunch of porn stars but that is for another blog). My incredibly talented actor brother got to work with Chadwick Boseman before he became the Black Panther. I am sure Jonno was very nice and didn’t beat the crap out of him as he is always a good guy. Currently he is playing the original Bad Guy, Iago, in Othello in DC (Feb 23 – Mar 27 – go see it) with Faran Tahir (Raza in Iron Man). Not to mention the awesome Kiwi, Taika Waititi, is directing “Thor 3 - You’re Thor, I’m tho thore I can hardly pee”.  The Marvel Universe has consistently delivered great characters and great movies that I can sit down and enjoy with the kids.

However there has been a dark damp hole in the Marvel Universe that finally gets properly filled in today. The hero doing the filling, none other than the pansexual, Merc with a Mouth - Deadpool, played by the incredibly funny Canadian with a Moose Cock fetish – Ryan Reynolds (don’t quote me on the Moose Cock thing as we are a very private group).

I must say it is about fucking time. I need an R Rated Marvel movie as much as I need lube on Valentines Night. Not R Rated just for sex and graphic images (like a normal Poets Day night) but also for the use of one of my favorite words. You can almost tell from the promos that they used Gordon Ramsey as the dialogue coach (spoiler alert – oh fuck, I was meant to say that before the spoiler, damn chrome cock-gobbler). It is about time there was a Marvel character based on the unedited Poets Day mantra of work hard, play hard and have an enjoyable fucking time doing it. Ok, so that is not the Poets Day mantra per se, more my mantra but that doesn’t mean you can fucking judge me, damn it :) The major difference between me and Deadpool is that unlike him I am totally destructible……….. and completely fuckable :)

Deadpool is the hero adults need, well the type of hero that adults with issues like mine need. Who else in the Marvel universe really teaches us that true love lasts forever and that even in the middle of a criminal ass beating superheroes have human thoughts, like if they left the stove on?

Little known fact: Deadpool has had so many concussions he has to jerk off with a condom on because he doesn’t know where his hand has been – another thing we have in common.

I have already been told that I am going to love this movie. A fast talking irreverent jackass with an attitude problem – sounds a bit like someone I see when I look in the mirror. I have been looking forward to this more than the Star Wars episode ‘Who the fuck cares anymore’ or Spectre - also known as ‘really, he’s Blofeld Junior, what the fuck is with that’. We have been teased, excited, teased a little more, nibbled, rubbed and played with by Deadpool just like on a Saturday night when I don’t have the kids. Finally, today, we can release that built up pressure and leave a big sticky mess at the cinema  - I am wearing my beige pants today.

Work hard, play hard, and earn your chimi-fucking-changa

Happy Deadpool Day

I’m touching myself tonight

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The American Idol complex

And I am not talking about the big commune of yurts where they keep the past winners. I am talking about what I like to (as of today) refer to as The American Idol complex pertaining as to how sometimes people need to be told the truth and often it is the people closest to them that fail in doing so. The only person who told the truth was that annoying English git in his tight V-neck shirts. The truth will set you free No, this is not a sermon from the mount but I often use that phrase. However, I do know that I am also guilty of not always telling the truth to avoid upsetting others but that is not what The American Idol complex is. Well what is it then? The American Idol complex (and trust me, I have played a Doctor on stage so I know what I am talking about) is where good meaning but badly executed praise is heaped on someone who should not have praise heaped on. It was amazing in the early episodes of American Idol how many tone deaf, talentless people turned up to
Read more

Do not go gentle into that good night

Ok, so Dylan Thomas was not exactly writing about what I am about to pontificate on but it is germane to this week's post. Back in early 1980’s Poppa Jeff turned 40 and had a birthday party with a friend of his, Alan Wilson, who happened to have his birthday on the same day. Alan was disappointed that his name wasn’t Brian, as he really just wanted to lie in bed, however he came to the party anyway. I remember being downstairs watching a movie about some Austrian painter with a stupid mustache topping himself (he seemed like quite a douchebag) whilst the ‘adults’ partied upstairs. The standard attire seemed to be suits or sports coats, ties, dress shirt etc and the men dressed the same :) A belly dancer turned up at one point, there was the obligatory gift of a walking cane and the boisterous singing of 'Life begins at 40' by Dave & the Dynamos echoed through the house. Evening finished with the smoking of cigars and a sherry or port depending on your fortified wine o
Read more

Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you

You know, it’s funny where I get inspiration to write this drivel. I’ll tell you this much for free, writing this crap is not easy, but my adoring fan (thanks Mum) is ever demanding for new and improved posts (usually with less swearing) so I have to keep my fan/Mum happy. Also The English Major doesn’t do fuck all on Poets Day anyway so the 5 minutes he spends checking my posts are the highlight of his day. Anyway, back to this week’s inspiration, a Crowded House (famous Kiwi band, not from the prison colony even though they might claim them – and Phar Lap) song. Why is it this week’s inspiration? I have no idea. It just popped into my head the other day during an opium induced haze and stayed there. The other day I was at a trade show in the safe zone known as San Fran, City by the Bay, home of the 50 th  Super Bowl (sort of as the stadium is nowhere near town any more) and a close personal acquaintance of mine, let’s call him Mr Pelaez (really need to update your LinkedIn p
Read more