You can't win every game......

And the sooner you learn that the better off you are.

A friend of mine posted on the book of faces about a girls youth bouncy ball game the other day and about the actions of the opposition, punching her daughter in the back at the end of the game preceded by scratching, elbows and dirty shots throughout the game......and that was just in the stands. Actually it was on the bouncy ball paddock (or whatever they call it) but it just easily could have been in the stands these days. My friend asked the question of whose fault is it for repetitive dirty play on the bouncy ball court, was it the fault of the referee, the fault of the coach but for some reason did not ask if it was the fault of the parent.

The 'win at any cost, live vicariously through your child's athletic endeavors trying to make up for the failures in their lives' parent is a major issue for any coach of youth sport. The need to win every game no matter what mentality is (most likely - remember these posts are done with what, some might say, is the absolute minimum amount of research) causing issues for kids, parents, coaches and the funnily dressed people with the whistles. It is not a new phenomenon, hell I was whacked by a parent once (or maybe more than that but will admit to the one time) when playing rugby at school. I was definitely whacked more than once in the face by the opposition, luckily however the game is now moving away from the punchy part - as much fun as it was back them :)

Oops, getting away from the theme here, need to get back on track. You cannot win every game.

I was fortunate enough (I have probably mentioned this before but I have a letters quota that I need to reach to fulfill my legal obligations) to get to Chicago in what was (historically) the greatest 4 days in sport. The Cubs won the world series for the first time in 108 years and the Irish beat the All Blacks for the first time in 111 years. I hadn't seen the All Blacks live in 20 years at a guess and happened to be at one of the greatest games in Rugby history, because we lost. People will talk about that game for the rest of their lives, there is probably already 250,000 people that say they were at the game these days and that number is likely growing every year (for the record there was actually about 62,000 at the game). We lost damn it, but it was a glorious loss, a historic loss, a loss that had never happened before and we were at the game and were better off for it.

Obviously I am not unaware that there are other areas in life where you can't win every time, I just tend to go to the sports analogies because they are easy. A bad coach, boss, parent is the one that says that you have to win every game. A good coach, boss, parent is the one that wants you to do your best at everything but always realizes sometimes you just are not going to win, as long as you learn. I am never going to beat Pete Sampras at Tennis but I might take him in a one on one boat race (and yes that is challenge Pete - he is a big fan of this blog.....probably). The realization that you cannot win every game, but that you can give your best and accept that sometimes you lose is a good thing. Most kids play sports for fun, they will later realize the benefits that sports give them but those memories of fun can be quickly ruined by a win-at-all cost coach as then the moral of the story seems that being a dirty cheat is the way to win. I am pretty sure we don't need any more of those people running around. Final comment on this is that in my friends daughters situation it was the coaches fault, and that is not acceptable in a youth coach.


This weeks post was bought to you by the letter R, the black Amex that I do not have (nor feel the need to clone to look like I have one) and the fact that international rugby returns to our screens this weekend with the start of the 6 nations. For those of you interested in these things it was written on a keyboard that magically connects without cables to an electronic device that transfers pushes of random letters into mildly logical ramblings. Guess it is time to crack open a cold one.

Work hard, play hard and earn your inspiration


Happy Poets Day