Being Direct and Honest
So one of my favorite things to say when people make a comment about how direct I can be is "The truth will set you free" - yes I know I borrowed it from the bible and I probably use it out of context but hey, it works for me.
I have had occasionally annoyed people in my life (no, you say), either by word, thought or deed (ok enough bible stuff - or is that one Monty Python - for the week) and sometimes I do not realize I have annoyed or offended them and may end up repeating that behavior. Sometimes the offense is minor enough that it is no big deal, written off as "oh, that is just the way he is". Sometimes however I need to be told to stop doing whatever it is, however most of the time people take so long to tell me the issue that they are fit to explode when they finally do. Last year a person I respect hugely got majorly annoyed with me, that could have been avoided if that person had told me earlier that my actions were pissing them off, instead we had to have a 'come to jesus' (really, last bible reference - although not sure if Come to Jesus is in the New or Old Testaments) that could have been avoided if I had been told directly earlier that I was being an annoying prick - well maybe in nicer terms :). Some behaviors are easy to change if you know that they annoy people - that being said some other behaviors are a great deal harder to change but unless someone tells you directly and honestly that there is an issue how the heck are you meant to know to change in the first place.
Of course some people handle direct, honest input differently to others.
Being direct and honest (in most cases) can save a whole lot of time and effort in life. A classic example is American Idol - I am sure people watch it for the same reason people watch Nascar - just waiting for the wreck. In the audition phases there a a lot of people that make complete asses of themselves because their (apparently) tone deaf family have told them what a great singer they are just because they are being 'supportive'. It would be more supportive and leave less scars if they were honest and direct - sure someones's feelings might get hurt - but that is better than being ridiculed publicly on FOX.
I used to do a bit of acting in my youth and the people that came up and gave me an honest critique of my performance and what I could do better were the people I appreciated more than either the person who just says you are great or the jackass that say you suck (with no justification). I guess you can end that last sentence the same way you read a fortune cookies - ie add "in bed".
Of course there is a time and place for using the Direct and Honest route in life, but it is a great tool to have (more fortune cookie wisdom). I have had a number of interviews recently as I am in 'transition' (such a stupid word) and in those instances being direct and honest is the best route - you won't get caught out in lies - and to most people it is a breath of fresh air - especially in the sales field. Sales people are bull shit artists extraordinaire in most cases so cutting through the bullshit can be refreshing (not a great visual I guess).
So folks who read my this (I think it is just my family and a friend in Chicago) if I piss you off, tell me. I am not fragile - sure my feelings may get hurt for a sec but a wise old woman once told me (hey sis) it is better to be sad than be mad.
As always - the opinions expressed here are probably of no use to anyone apart from a clinical psychologist.
Work hard, play hard and earn your inspiration.
Happy Poets Day
I have had occasionally annoyed people in my life (no, you say), either by word, thought or deed (ok enough bible stuff - or is that one Monty Python - for the week) and sometimes I do not realize I have annoyed or offended them and may end up repeating that behavior. Sometimes the offense is minor enough that it is no big deal, written off as "oh, that is just the way he is". Sometimes however I need to be told to stop doing whatever it is, however most of the time people take so long to tell me the issue that they are fit to explode when they finally do. Last year a person I respect hugely got majorly annoyed with me, that could have been avoided if that person had told me earlier that my actions were pissing them off, instead we had to have a 'come to jesus' (really, last bible reference - although not sure if Come to Jesus is in the New or Old Testaments) that could have been avoided if I had been told directly earlier that I was being an annoying prick - well maybe in nicer terms :). Some behaviors are easy to change if you know that they annoy people - that being said some other behaviors are a great deal harder to change but unless someone tells you directly and honestly that there is an issue how the heck are you meant to know to change in the first place.
Of course some people handle direct, honest input differently to others.
Being direct and honest (in most cases) can save a whole lot of time and effort in life. A classic example is American Idol - I am sure people watch it for the same reason people watch Nascar - just waiting for the wreck. In the audition phases there a a lot of people that make complete asses of themselves because their (apparently) tone deaf family have told them what a great singer they are just because they are being 'supportive'. It would be more supportive and leave less scars if they were honest and direct - sure someones's feelings might get hurt - but that is better than being ridiculed publicly on FOX.
I used to do a bit of acting in my youth and the people that came up and gave me an honest critique of my performance and what I could do better were the people I appreciated more than either the person who just says you are great or the jackass that say you suck (with no justification). I guess you can end that last sentence the same way you read a fortune cookies - ie add "in bed".
Of course there is a time and place for using the Direct and Honest route in life, but it is a great tool to have (more fortune cookie wisdom). I have had a number of interviews recently as I am in 'transition' (such a stupid word) and in those instances being direct and honest is the best route - you won't get caught out in lies - and to most people it is a breath of fresh air - especially in the sales field. Sales people are bull shit artists extraordinaire in most cases so cutting through the bullshit can be refreshing (not a great visual I guess).
So folks who read my this (I think it is just my family and a friend in Chicago) if I piss you off, tell me. I am not fragile - sure my feelings may get hurt for a sec but a wise old woman once told me (hey sis) it is better to be sad than be mad.
As always - the opinions expressed here are probably of no use to anyone apart from a clinical psychologist.
Work hard, play hard and earn your inspiration.
Happy Poets Day
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